What Comes Next

            Three years ago, I remember sitting in my school ground during a free period with a friend and having a conversation about how it was so weird that in a few months, we wouldn’t be in school anymore. And I think that that was the best way we were able to explain how we felt at the time – weird. The feelings of excitement, fear, apprehension, longing and uncertainty were not things we could comprehend well enough at the time to put into the right words. So, we settled for weird.

            I realise now, as I approach the end of my time at Christ, this feeling is not new to me at all. It’s the same weird feeling I had back then. But I think this time around, I know what it is, and I know what to do with it.

            You see, back in school, I embraced the exciting part of it, while trying to suppress those feelings of fear and anxiety, because, well, who wants to deal with those things? But I think one of the most important things I’ve learnt over the past three years in this city is that negative emotions need to be felt, too.

            Leaving a place often brings with it sadness, but here’s the thing: there is beauty in sadness.

            Sadness gives us perspective. It helps us realise how much a person, a place or an experience meant to us. It builds our empathy. It makes us aware of our love for what we’re about to part from. And I think that’s why people so often only appreciate something when they’re about to lose it, or after they already have.

            Leaving Christ is not going to be easy. As much as I have realised that a busy city is not my favourite place to live, and as much as I am looking forward to what comes next, I have found a comfort zone here. Some friends here are almost like family, and that is something that is not going to be easy to move away from.

So I’m working on embracing all of it – the feelings that come with leaving behind people who mean so much to me, moving away from a city that I have come to love over the past three years and a leaving a Church that has brought me face-to-face with God. But I’m also embracing the feelings of anticipation and excitement about what comes next.